Thursday, April 26, 2012
CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN
Homo Sapiens is a bisexual primate. We're designed to perform certain sexual and social roles. Woman is the mother, caring for the being she carried for nine months in the womb. Man is the seed distributor, making sure the tribe has enough population to continue. Artificial lures such as clothing have only come into play fairly recently, and as younger and younger females don more seductive clothes incidents occur that to me forget our primary biological roles. I blame American Apparel and Juicy Coutre. American Apparel has been cited several times for its abuse of female employees, once notably by the Village Voice, whose back page is graced weekly by seemingly stoned, underage and foreign models. Their CEO has been investigated for his abuse of young girls several times. Yet this company prospers despite all its anti-female stance. Juicy Couture has been keeping a low profile lately, but their Juicy emblem and suggestive mottos have adorned many a pre-teen shirt in recent years. I distinctly remember a young Asian girl with ironing board straight hair and ironing board figure coming over to my stand wearing a tee shirt that said "Juicy one hour ride". That shirt left little to my imagination, and like most American males I have a lot of imagination. Let me postulate something. I work near Columbia University, so I see a lot of young, hyper sexual kids. A guy picks up a girl in a bar, and one of the reasons is that she's wearing a shirt with that slogan on it. They start making out and nature takes its course. At what point can things have gone too far for a simple stop to work? Greater minds than mine have asked that question, and I'm not going to attempt to answer it here. I've discussed the tribal usage of shirts, the ever present CBGBs, Che and Abersrombie and Fitch shirts, or the Hollisters, how they give kids a sense of belonging. To what, one might ask. A brand name? THAT'S what we want to belong to? I sold my soul, I'm a company whore. Men buy women what clothes they'd like to take off them, while women dress for other women. I learned that lesson in Bergdorf Goodman a long time ago, and don't think it'll ever change. But there are a couple of things I'll never figure out. I realize Pink has become an anti-breast cancer rallying cry, but have any of these women ever tried to find out what Pink means? For a long time it was a slang expression for the female reproductive system,at least until AC/DC came up with "Sink The Pink". Tell that to one of these girls wearing it on their shirt or their pants and you're libel to get a black eye. It goes with the original meaning(s) of punk, which I'll let you figure out on your own, and then enlighten you in my next blog. Speaking of pink, when did the female rear end become an advertising sight. It takes little for most males to look at a woman's rear, and when there's something emblazoned across it, well...! Workout clothes in various shades never seen in nature have something to do with it also, though some of these women running around in sweats should be required to have either Goodyear or Wide Load emblazoned on their pants, and backup beeps ala trucks. For some reason I've never noticed guys wearing these things. If I'm wrong please tell me. But kindly. I'm of a delicate nature.